Rumah

Semalam dalam kereta dalam perjalanan nak ke bank, maklumlah dah gaji kan macam biasa Hariz mulutnya memang tak boleh berhenti. Sampai satu kawasan perumahan baru nak naik dia cakap,

" Mama,mama nak cari rumah kan? Takpe, nanti Hariz buatkan rumah untuk mama."

" Erm ok. Nak buat dekat mana? Tapi kena kumpul duit beli tanah la nak naik rumah" Aku balas balik.

"Takpe nanti kumpulla. Kita buat la dekat sini ke, sini ke.." Sambil tangan dia tunjuk kat sekeping tanah yang kosong dalam perjalanan tu.

" Nak buat rumah kan mama kena pandai sains dan mametik (matematik)." Masa ni aku dah suprise dah. Rasanya dulu umur dia tak tau pun kaitan nak buat rumah dengan sains dengan math ni. Tadika umur 6 tahun kot. Sains tak belajar lagi rasanya.

" Yela kan. Nak kira berapa luas rumah tu. Apa barang nak guna buat rumah kan? Memang kena pandai sains dan matematik la Hariz." Aku jack la dia.

"Takpe. Nanti Hariz belajar la kat sekolah."

Takpelah nak. Buatlah apa yang termampu. Selagi ada khudrat dan izin Allah, mama dan ayah cuba nak beri terbaik buat anak-anak semua. Yang penting akhlak mu nak. Setinggi mana kamu nanti, takkan mudah goyah peganganmu.

Hariz selfie.

The third

New Year gift from the Greatest Allah.
I am conceived. Again. It is unplanned but with tiny soul growing up in your belly, how can you say no.
I may not ready mentally and physically but as a mom I'm trying my best to provide the kids.

Hariz will turns 5 soon. And this is his prayer too. After some of his solah. He asked what to dua'. Anything you want dear. Maybe..a baby, being a good boy, may mama and ayah live longer so both can take care of you. He always told me he wants another baby as Hayfa is growing up and very active. At first he prefer a boy for the third. But then after a visit to a newborn baby girl of my friend he changes his mind. He wants a girl even though he doesn't favor Hayfa so much.

Hayfa will turns 2 before the third baby being born. Just nice. But she is still breastfeeding and she takes formula too. I face trouble to get rid of her from the 'nenen'. A very cheeky girl. But a fast learner. She knows when and where shall she puts the dirty clothes, the thrash, her milk bottle even she take her own plate every meal time. I can hang on you dear girl. But deep down in me, I feel sad for her. Thinking I may neglect her a bit as the pregnancy will take control. Sometimes I just want to lay down but she wants to play with me, I get mad at a very simple thing she made sometimes...it's hard when I don't set a suitable gap between pregnancy.

But who am I to control the destiny. Accept it with an open heart and pray that it will be smooth just like before. Pray that I'll be fit enough to embrace this pregnancy and the children I already have. Thanks hub for your arms to cry on, to hang on...you are such a great dad. Hayfa is so daddy's girl. I thank you for that. I don't worry much about Hariz because he is big enough to understand the current situation, the changes of his mom mood. He even helps me with chores. Wash dishes, take care of Hayfa, he even prepares Hayfa's milk. The key is always have our kids around and asks them to help whenever we completing our chores. From the observation, they can do it on their own when the time really needs them too.

Pray for my safe pregnancy. Thanks in advance.

Here is the gift.

A new life shall begin

I don't know if I'm ready for this
But I do hope for a smooth path
Maybe my son's du'a has been granted by Allah
With his sincere heart
I try my best to nurture even though I think I might not ready.
But Allah grant me this greatest gift
How shall I pass? I am just a servant.
Syukrilillah...

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Keluar darah

Macam biasa aku hari-hari balik kerja tung tang kat dapur. Lepas masak sap soi teus ajak keluarga makan. Masuk waktu Mahgrib pun baru nak sudah makan, suapkan anak-anak.

Usai makan, pesan dekat Hariz solat nak. Berhentilah main dulu. Lepas solat, belajar Iqra' sikit sambung lah main.

Masuk kali ketiga aku pesan suara dah nyaring sikit baru lah dia menjawab.
" Hariz keluar darah lah mama."
Aku yang kebetulan tengah basuh tangan gelak besar.
"Mama dah boleh solat belum? Keluar darah lagi tak?"
Aku yang belum habis gelak terkedu dengan soalan dia tu.
Oit, awak tu lelaki la nak. Mana ada keluar darah cam mama melainkan kalau awak buasir kronik.

Ada je alasan. Karang mama keluarkan senjata terakhir nanti baru tau.