New Year gift from the Greatest Allah.
I am conceived. Again. It is unplanned but with tiny soul growing up in your belly, how can you say no.
I may not ready mentally and physically but as a mom I'm trying my best to provide the kids.
Hariz will turns 5 soon. And this is his prayer too. After some of his solah. He asked what to dua'. Anything you want dear. Maybe..a baby, being a good boy, may mama and ayah live longer so both can take care of you. He always told me he wants another baby as Hayfa is growing up and very active. At first he prefer a boy for the third. But then after a visit to a newborn baby girl of my friend he changes his mind. He wants a girl even though he doesn't favor Hayfa so much.
Hayfa will turns 2 before the third baby being born. Just nice. But she is still breastfeeding and she takes formula too. I face trouble to get rid of her from the 'nenen'. A very cheeky girl. But a fast learner. She knows when and where shall she puts the dirty clothes, the thrash, her milk bottle even she take her own plate every meal time. I can hang on you dear girl. But deep down in me, I feel sad for her. Thinking I may neglect her a bit as the pregnancy will take control. Sometimes I just want to lay down but she wants to play with me, I get mad at a very simple thing she made sometimes...it's hard when I don't set a suitable gap between pregnancy.
But who am I to control the destiny. Accept it with an open heart and pray that it will be smooth just like before. Pray that I'll be fit enough to embrace this pregnancy and the children I already have. Thanks hub for your arms to cry on, to hang on...you are such a great dad. Hayfa is so daddy's girl. I thank you for that. I don't worry much about Hariz because he is big enough to understand the current situation, the changes of his mom mood. He even helps me with chores. Wash dishes, take care of Hayfa, he even prepares Hayfa's milk. The key is always have our kids around and asks them to help whenever we completing our chores. From the observation, they can do it on their own when the time really needs them too.
Pray for my safe pregnancy. Thanks in advance.
Here is the gift.