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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hati Si Anak Kecil

Sabtu lepas  (25/6/2011)
Aku bawa anak aku ke pasar tani di Rembau. 
Saje nak jalan2. Asal hujung minggu memang aku balik rumah mak aku.
Hari tu jugak aku still demam lagi. Suara memang takde tapi gatal nak berjalan gak

Takde beli apa2 pun cuma tudung nak pergi kerja dan makanan sikit.
Tengah2 nak jalan ke kereta balik adalah sepasang OKU ni. 
Common la tempat2 macam tu kan. Jual tisu bukak ayat2 Al-Quran.
Aku tak pesimis. Dan aku rasa tak perlu lah aku nak condemn apa2 kat sini.

Cuma yang buat aku tersentuh. Anak aku yang berusia 2 tahun.
Boleh tercegat tengok diorang. Puas aku panggil nak gerak ke kereta.
Tapi dia berdiri merenung ke arah pasangan tu.

Tiba2 terdetik, kalau anak kecil pun dah ada perasan simpati or empati or apa2 la
Inikan aku yang dah dewasa...tak kan nak keraskan hati je...
Aku hulurkan anak aku beberapa not ringgit dan aku berikan pada anak aku...

You know what happened next? Dia pergi berjalan ke perempuan OKU tu dan hulurkan the notes I gave.
Akak tu nak bagi tisu kat dia tapi tak sempat sebab anak aku dah lari ke arah aku sambil toleh ke arah diorang.

Peristiwa tu betul2 beri kesan kepada aku.
He may be little... but he has a big heart...and so does his mind.

Ya Allah, please bless my kid wherever he goes and in whatever he does.
I love him with all my heart.

Monday, June 27, 2011

2 minggu yang tenat

Aku jatuh sakit
Makin teruk on weekend
Makin berusia makin tua usia antibodiku
Thanks to my both sis and brother
At least I can have some rest on weekend
To my dear son...
Mama minta maaf...hanya mampu berdoa supaya tak sakit sepeninggalan ayahmu
But Tuhan lebih berkuasa atas segalanya...
Moga kesakitan ini mendekatkan lagi mama yang selalu jauh dari Nya.

To my dear husband
Don't worry about me
Getting sick is just a cycle of life
Maybe cured, but soon it'll come back...
It just a matter of time...same to the death

To the other 'me'
Thanks for everything.

Friday, June 24, 2011

What I did I get back

Ever heard about karma? Sure you did la.

It has been a very hard week for me.
Caught fever. Then, got fungus grown somewhere over my body.
Hey, I've cleaned myself la...But why it happens to me?

Today, I lost my voice. Temporarily. Bad cough.
My mid finger got stuck at sliding door...Dem!
Still feel the numb at my distal phalanges. Or did I broke it?

Oh....
What worst, I'm all alone (with a kid) bear this misery
And last night, I felt I was broken apart...
I wept...Fragile...Helpless dowh!

Ape kena ngan tajuk?
Ntah la...aku rasa ni sume karma untuk aku. Sebab years after years I cheat, I hide, I kept from people I know.
I just can't move on with this sickness.

I wish I'll die. ASAP.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Current Job


Aku busy.
Buat benda alah kat atas ni.
Boleh jadi part time arkitek tak rasa2nya?

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Chaos!

Harini birthday my boy.
Harini juga dia demam.
Harini pun ayah belum habis training lagi. Entah bila lah abis dan dapat reunite kembali as a family.
Harini juga aku boleh tertinggal handphone kat rumah. Demmit!
Harini juga ada benda nak settlekan kat office.
Harini juga aku decide drive ke office.

Kalau lah boleh aku gandakan diri aku macam Naruto tu.
My life would be much easier.

Aku agak cemburu tengok ramai orang boleh buat sambutan meriah untuk anak-anak diorang.
Aku suka tengok. Tapi nak buat...entahlah. Aqiqah pun belum berkesempatan. Ada je hal yang buatkan ia tertunda.
Teringat pesan mak aku. Mak suruh je aku buat melalui EZ Qurban.
Kata mak aku orang Malaysia dah terlebih-lebih makan. Betul sangat!
Senang, tak payah susah2 nak cari catering, pasang khemah bagai.
Orang pun tak penat. Penat makan! Hehehe

To my son.
Mak bukanlah kedekut.
Tapi rasa macam tak berbaloi. Baik mak simpan duit untuk beli buku ke, beli bahan2 untuk aktiviti kita bersama.
Boleh? Kalau nak juga tunggulah bila kamu dah empat ke lima tahun ek.

Alasan mak nak tunggu kamu besar ialah : Masa tu kamu dah boleh buat kerja. So, I can be your boss. Main arah je....hehehehe.

Happy Birthday, Son



A Birthday greeting for a Son
Who's dear as dear can be,
With happy wishes that are sent
In all sincerity -
May you spend such a perfect day
Its memory always stays
To make your life more wonderful
Throughout your future days!


*



Dear Son,
Here's wishing you to-day
A Birthday full of cheer,
With happiness and joy to last
Throughout the coming year!



*



May all the best in life my Son,
Enrich your future way,
Adventure and good fortune, too,
Bring joy to you each day.



*



Anyone can have Birthdays
But someone who's nice as you
Deserves the very happiest things
And favourite pleasures, too
That's why I wish you just the kind
Of wonderful day that's in my mind.
Happy Birthday Son.




*



I'd Like to be the very first
To greet you in this way,
To send you countless wishes
On this most important day,
A day of overwhelming joy
In everything you do,
For you deserve the nicest things
The world could offer you.



*



To wish you every happy thing
Thats makes a Birthday glad,
So that you'll feel with all your heart,
It's been the best you've had!

source : Poems

source : icip2

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Off to wedding

Me hold my boy, Mistiny, Shira,  Flower Horn ;-p hold my boy.

Ni pic last Saturday. Huhu. Me and my siblings. I may look short but obviously I am taller than Mistiny..

Kolam Belakang Rumah



Aku beli pool ni sebab offer.
Tu pun sebab aku takut nak bawak dia ke tempat public macam air terjun ke laut ke public pool ke
Paranoid? Sikit kot...Korang yang ada anak mesti ada perasaan macam aku.
Masalahnya, dia belum diaper free lagi. So, bila dia nak wee wee belum pandai nak bagitau aku
End up, bila dia terwee wee dalam tu kena aa tukar balik air. Nak fill up family pool tu..huhuhu...berdjaman...

Ada sekali tu, cuaca mendung and the water in the pool pretty cold.
Tapi dia nak masuk gak. Yang pelik tetiba dia tak berendam. Aku musykil.
Raba a**e dia, huik...poo poo pulak
Adeh...padanlah tak berendam. Pandai pulak tu. Dia stick kat satu sudut je tak gerak2.
Kalau tak memang free2 je terapung benda alah tu sebab masuk pool aku bukak diaper dia.

Ada sekali tu, mandi ngan adik bongsu, ngam2 makcik dia nak masuk pool,
termuntah lah pulak...sebabnya, sebelum tu makan macam2. Dalam pool terhover excited.

Tensi mak ko ni la. Cian atok nak bil air...hehehe

Monday, June 6, 2011

I am hungered

...for books.
Especially written in Malay. Something good to read. To feed my mind.
Read in TTGB about Frinjan. I am a mother with a growing up kid. Just missed the date.
Then, read about Fixi. Hey, can buy online. Great! Will do this noon.
Distrobuku also offer online shop. Sudah bagus! Arghh...

Need to add up another bookcase. Bigger. For me and my lil one.
To my sis, Pnut. You gotta have all the books in the e-shop I've mentioned.
It's time for us to read our local books...Again.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Bandar Penghujung Benua Asia

Views from my hotel room


Jumaat lepas.
Aku balik ke kampung halaman abah.
Di bandar penghujung benua asia. Lebih tepat lagi di Pontian Kechil.
Sepupu aku kahwin.
Aku pun tak ingat bila last time aku balik. Dua tahun lepas rasanya.
Kedai cina kat simpang nak masuk kampung aku tu pun wujud lagi.
Abah kata lebih 50 tahun dah kedai tu ada kat situ.
Tapi dah jadi tempat tinggal warga Myanmar/Vietnam.
Aku rasa kalau kedai tu takde aku pun tak sure dapat cari jalan ke rumah kampung aku ke tak lagi.

Aku tidur kat Hotel Garden Pontian . Tepi laut. Bawah ada Marrybrown.
Ehsan abah. Hehhee...aku tumpang je.

Jalan ke kampung aku memang tak banyak berubah. Cuma rumah makin besar.
Yang ketara kat bandar la. Tempat orang asli laut masih macam tu lagi. Aku suka.
Cuma ketara kat hotel aku tinggal sah-sah tempat tu ditambak.
Dikomersialkan sebagai Tanjung Piai. Most southest point kat Benua Asia. Walhal jauh lagi Tg. Piai tu.

Anak aku toksah cakap. He loves it to the max. Memang anak jati kampung. Kat rumah kampung tu pun macam dah biasa je dia.

Pasal wedding reception. Ok je. Hahahaha...cerita2 lain biar aku simpan.
Aku still rasa reception sebegitu tak perlu.
Tapi idea aku tu mak aku tak setuju masa aku kahwin dulu.
For me, it's pointless. Aku faham niat mak aku bukan nak menunjuk.
Sekadar tak mau orang mengata belakang. Aku faham niat suci mak aku. Dan aku berterima kasih pada mak abah aku sebab aku tak keluar duit satu sen pun untuk wedding aku (still aku consider berhutang dengan diorang).
I just asked for a small gathering. Just invite closest family members and closest neighbours. My idea was rejected. Coz I am the eldest. Yet the eldest in my father's side. So, that kind of ceremony was in need.

Aku lebih suka dalam bentuk minimal. So, untuk anak-anak saya, I'll stick to my point. Sukati korang la nak panggil aku cheapskate ke apa. It's my life.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Losing temptation

...to blog.
Maybe I am just a victim of a dream.
Which I can't fulfill.
How hard I try.
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